did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
