just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
