Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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