Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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