Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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