Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize