hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
