i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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