Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
