Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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