sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I understand Curling. That high.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize