And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
