OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
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