this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
