her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
