im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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