I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
