Betty ford says i'm here all night
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
