Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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