He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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