yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
