is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
