i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
