sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
