i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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