There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
