So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
