I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Never underestimate the power of titties
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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