You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
