ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
