I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
