I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
