why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
