We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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