Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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