The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
