Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize