I heard we made out
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
