I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
