I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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