Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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