I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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