I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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