i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
