He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
