so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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