I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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