why didn't you poke me back
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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