I think i peed on brittanys purse
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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