so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
