i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
