the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
