i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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