I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
