You're completely useless in the revolution.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
