You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
sarcasm needs its own font
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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