Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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