why didn't you poke me back
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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