I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
