it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
