peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
