oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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