I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
