Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
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At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
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drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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